Why do we care?

I’m aware of my absence lately. I have just been so busy!

So today in national Nutella day and let me be real with you, Nutella is one of the best tasting things I’ve ever had. And it damn well tastes better than a man. Yes I said it.

This right here is a Macamochip HALF POUND cookie stuffed with Nutella from my favorite bakery in the whole world, City Cakes in NYC. I love this place, you should too.

I wish I had a great Segway into this new topic but I don’t. Because it’s obvious why we care about Nutella, it’s delicious.

But why do we care about our ex’s so much? As much as we say we hope the best for them, do we really mean it?

Unfortunately for me I’ve been seeing a little too much of my ex boyfriend lately. Ok I guess obviously I knew there was a chance of seeing him by going to his gym but it was 50/50. I went to lift with friends and i wasn’t going to let his possible presence deter me from that. But I wasn’t exactly expecting to see him at the Russell Dickerson concert last week. Especially because he was never the type to really go out or drink unless I dragged him.

Well I guess it makes sense then since his new whatever she is, yeah that’s what I’m calling it, is a sorority girl who clearly loves to party. Sure she dragged him. He didn’t seem to invested in her at first. But as the night went on he was. You see, Cowboys is big. And there were a ton of people there for this free concert. Yet we managed to see each other and he decided he wanted to stand right by my group. Unnecessary. And continued to go out of his way to be near us the rest of the night.

Maybe I imagined it. But. I didn’t. Which leads me to my question of why do I even care?? Why do we care what our ex’s do? Why do we care who they date? Why does it bother us even if we broke things off?

Is it because no matter what, you still don’t like to see someone you cared so much about with someone else? It’s what I’m guessing because I know I don’t have feelings for him. I honestly have always wished him the best and happiness even though he treated me terribly. He never wanted that for me. This I know from his actions after breaking up.

So if I broke up with him, I’m not in love with him, and have no feelings for him, why do I care he’s with her? Why did it bother me to see them soooo much that night?

For one, it was pure annoyance. He could have stayed away.

For another, because it honestly is frustrating to see an ex who treated you like shit show affection to someone else when you once used to care. The person who you gave yourself completely to and who refused to return the love or the effort. Why may this new girl deserve his effort and not me?

The answer is simple. He wasn’t the right man for me. No amount of caring, effort, or wifely activities performed would ever change that fact or change him. You can’t change a man who isn’t supposed be for you. Because if he was, you wouldn’t have to beg. You wouldn’t have to hope he will be better. You definitely wouldn’t have to change him.

Now that I have vomited all this out, I’ve made room in my stomach for more Nutella based food. Peace, love, and food over Dudes. Always.

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